I always thought I knew what it meant to be broken before our God until a couple of years ago when God put me directly where he wanted me; on my face before him. A severe brokenness that I would have never dreamed of and a severe brokenness that I wouldn't trade for the world. Many days I lied in anguish, literally on my face on my family room floor. Tears and tears flowed as I cried out to Abba to hear my desperate plea for help. The burden that I carried (and still carry) was more than humanly possible, or so I thought.
A wise scholar of Jesus once asked me, "Have you ever known of a prophet who hasn't been severely broken?" I thought about that comment over and over again. Why would a loving God want me to be in anguish? Why would he want me to be torn to shreds if he really cared about me, his child? If God is a God of mercy and grace then why am I so broken?
Now, the answer seems so easy. God was breaking me of me. He wanted me so torn, so dismantled that he could create me into the being he wanted me to be. He took away everything so I could only see him.
I understand the words you've written, Am, but I don't understand the meaning behind them. How anyone can rejoice in broken-ness is not something I can grasp. WHY do we have to be broken? Why can't we be loved as we are, and excell in Christ's love? Going to the Father with the pieces of my broken heart for him to put back together heal wounds, but leaves scars.
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